The Dating 411: Spotting Red Flags on a First Date

First dates can be exciting, but they can often also feel like overwhelming. You’re trying to figure out if there’s a vibe, but you’re also looking out for potential red flags. Trusting your gut is key, but sometimes, certain behaviors can slip through if you’re caught up in the excitement of getting to know someone new. Here are a few red flags to look out for on that first date that might help you decide whether it's worth a second:

1. They Talk Only About Themselves

If your date spends the entire time talking about their accomplishments, their hobbies, and their life with little interest in yours, that’s a major red flag. A first date should be a two-way conversation. If they can't stop talking about themselves, it could mean they're self-absorbed or lack empathy.

2. Disrespecting the Waitstaff (or Anyone, Really)

Pay attention to how they treat others—especially the waitstaff or anyone providing a service. If they’re rude, condescending, or dismissive, that’s a sign of how they may treat you (or others) down the road. Kindness is key.

3. They’re on Their Phone the Whole Time

If your date keeps checking their phone or texting during your time together, that’s a clear sign they’re not fully present or invested. Respecting your time and being engaged is crucial, especially in the early stages of dating.

4. They Move Too Fast

If your date is already talking about future plans, getting overly personal, or being physically forward before you’re comfortable, that can be a red flag. While it’s nice to know they’re interested, moving too fast can indicate they might not respect your boundaries or are just rushing things for the wrong reasons.

5. Inconsistent Answers

When asked about their job, family, or past relationships, if they give inconsistent answers, it’s worth paying attention. Being evasive about basic information could be a sign they’re hiding something or not being completely honest.

6. Negative Attitude About Everything

If your date complains a lot, constantly talks negatively about others, or seems to have a pessimistic view of life, it can be draining. Positivity and a good outlook on life are important traits in any relationship, so if they seem overly negative, it might not be the best fit for you.

Trust Your Gut

Above all, trust your intuition. If something feels off, don’t ignore it. It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to give people the benefit of the doubt, but your instincts are there for a reason. You deserve to be with someone who respects your time, boundaries, and energy from the very beginning.