How to Stop Overthinking During the Talking Stage

The talking stage is supposed to be fun and exciting. But if you find yourself analyzing texts like they’re cryptic messages and rereading conversations to find hidden meanings, you’re not alone. Overthinking can turn what should be a lighthearted connection into a stressful, anxiety-filled experience. So, how do you stop spiraling and actually enjoy the process? Here’s how to chill out and actually enjoy the dating process.

1. Stop Creating a Narrative in Your Head

It’s easy to take one small action—like them taking hours to respond—and turn it into a full-blown story about how they’re losing interest. The truth? People are busy, distracted, or sometimes just bad at texting. Instead of assuming the worst, remind yourself that you don’t have all the information because it’s still so new, but that’s okay.

2. Don’t Obsess Over Every Text

Not every message needs to be perfectly crafted. Overthinking what to say, how long to wait before replying, or asking 5 different friends what his last message meant. If you have to strategize every text, it’s already feeling like a game—and that’s not what real connection is about.

3. Stay Busy With Your Own Life

The more time you have to sit around and analyze their every move, the more you’re going to overthink. When you’re focused on your own life—your hobbies, your friendships, your goals—you naturally put less pressure on the situation. Also, it’s just hotter to have things going on in your personal life.

4. Recognize What You Can and Can’t Control

You can’t control how often they text, how interested they are, or what they’re thinking. But you can control how you react, how much energy you give it, and whether you let it take over your mind. You have to just remember that if it’s meant to work out it will. Especially if a guy is into you and intends to commit, they won’t really let anything get in the way of making that happen.

5. Be Okay With Uncertainty

Not knowing where things are going can be uncomfortable, but that’s part of the process. You don’t need all the answers right away. Some connections fizzle out, and some turn into something real—but stressing over it won’t change the outcome. In my experience, any time I was bummed that it didn’t work out with a certain person, someone better always came along and that’s what makes dating so exciting.

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